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"They say you cannot love two people equally at once, " she said. "And perhaps for others that is so. But you and Will-you are not like two ordinary people, two people who might have been jealous of each other, or who would have imagined my love for one of them diminished by my love for the other. You merged your souls when you were both children. I could not have love Will so much if I had not loved you as well. And I could not love you as I do if I had not loved Will as I did."
I'm not sure when I'll review this book. I have to really think about it and my thoughts. My emotions are so warped and battling each other. I mean this book was EPIC! In every way possible. Until the end. I just...I don't know. My heart is sad. My soul is lost.
What a masterpiece yet a heartbreaking end to a spectacular series! One I'll never forget!
WILL I'll always love you. I'll never forget you, EVER! You were the true hero in this series. My heart will forever mourn you. I wish this wasn't the last book. I'll miss you more than you'll ever know. I can't say much more before I start sobbing again. Just know, no one can compare to you...Jace comes close. But you're one of a kind. Always will be. *blows kisses*
Okay, I've had plenty of time to stew over this book, this ending, this series as a whole. I can honestly say that, I'm still gutted by the ending, the epilogue. If Clare had ended the series with the last chapter, I would have been ONE HUNDRED percent perfectly happy and giddy and emotional that it's over, but I wouldn't be so torn, so devastated, so sad. I mean, I get it..she wanted to make both teams happy. She wanted to make both Jem and Will get their wishes and happy endings, and of course our lovely Tessa. She deserved to be happy. But it still hurts how things happened.
The rest of the book was EPIC beyond EPIC. I mean I was experiencing every emotion known to man. Hell, I think I was going through several at one time and it was a like a giant high rollercoaster that kept ascending and then descended so fast, my head snapped every which way. I was thoroughly and mentally and emotionally beyond EXHAUSTED by the end. I had no more tears coming out of my eyes because I'd cried so much throughout the book. But this was amazing. I love the shadowhunter world, in every form. Clare paints such a vivid and fascinating universe and it was so much fun to ride the ride, in spite of all the emotions. I really loved it!
I loved every character...even the bad ones because without conflict, well that'd be boring. So we gotta have the villains. I felt bad for Jessamine, but it was nice to see her in the end. I loved Gideon and Sophie! I was so happy with their ending as well. I warmed up to Gabriel and was happy for him and Cecily. She's such a great gal, perfect for him. She brought out the vulnerable side that he hid for so long. I thank her for showing up, because I really couldn't stand him in CP. He's such an ass. But then again, after what he experienced, I guess I would have hardened into a shell myself. So I should've given him some credit. But thankfully Cecy came to his rescue for being on my shit list. So thank you Cecy.
I LOVED Charlotte and Henry in this book. At the end of CP, I was crying tears when we learned their awesome secret. How exciting! Also their love for each other really shined after their misunderstanding was cleared up. I mean, I knew they loved each other but it seemed like they were putting on a show. Henry was always busy with his inventions that failed to work half the time, which I won't blame him for because he at least tried. I couldn't pull off half the shit he did. Kudos to you, Henry. But once we discover that they really loved each other and Henry realizes how he misinterpret Charlotte's love for him, it's all a glorious love-fest from their. And honestly, they're one of my favorite couples. I love their love for each other and I also love their love for the institute...well more like the people they take in. Charlotte was such a Mother Hen to me. She loved Jem and Will and even Tessa...of course Jessamine too, even though she was such an ungrateful biatch. But she was so protective, and loving and selfless. Her priority was always keeping her "children" safe. She'd done anything for them. Above herself. I loved that about her. Henry was just as great-clueless about most things-but great nonetheless.
Magnus. Magnus fucking Bane, what can I say about you?? *sigh* I loved him loads in CP, but he really turned my insides to mush in this book. OMG, I wanted to kiss him and hug him and lick him. I always wondered why he was so cold and distant to Jace in TMI. That always bothered me. But he was just so loving and caring and compassionate with Will. I'm still not sure why that is. I'm not complaining though. Because he really took care of my sweet and miserable and lost Will. So all I can do is thank him for that. He truly stood out in this book. He was probably my favorite character in this series (tossing Will aside, of course). I'm really intrigued by his character and I think I love him more in TID than TMI. But either way, Magnus is the shit! I just love him so much!!!
Favorite Magnus Quotes:
“Pointless, needless suffering and pain? I don’t suppose it would help if I told you that was the way life is. The good suffer, the evil flourish, and all that is mortal passes away,” Magnus said.
“You asked me how I, being immortal, survive so many deaths. There is no great secret. You endure what is unbearable, and you bear it. That is all.”
“I can tell you that the end of a life is the sum of the love that was lived in it.”
Now before I get into the whole Will-Jem-Tessa love triangle thing, let me just say this is how I was during the last half of the book....
Yeah, I went through such torture in this final installment. It was ridiculous. I was happy, I was laughing, I was stunned, my heart was racing from suspense, my heart was skipping beats and jumping out of my chest, and then I was hysterical in tears and grabbing my head from a migraine, and then I was screaming in fury, in pain, in rage, in fear, in physical pain, I wanted to die. OMG, I can't name everything I went through. It was just too much! But I still loved it! My heart has to go through some crazy torture, it makes no sense that I keep going back to those books.
Jem. I couldn't believe the shit we find out, the shit he goes through. My heart palpitated at a few scenes. I was shocked, and for a moment I was satisfied with it. I mean, it made sense. But my heart still hurt for him. At least it was better than death, right? Maybe Jem fans would disagree. But either way, I loved Jem. I really did. He was a sweetheart and I hated seeing him so sick, so helpless, so torn and in love with the same woman his best friend is. That sucked. Putting myself in his shoes, I guess it would be a sacrifice and a difficult one. I loved his loyalty to not only Tess but to Will. He wanted both of them happy. He loved them both enough to sacrifice his own happiness. I truly felt so bad for him. But in the end, I didn't have to. *sniff sniff*
Tessa became quite the heroine in this book. Maybe even the hero. I loved the things she had to do and the way she took responsibility like a man. She owned up to her destiny and she did it well. Her ability to surprise me was refreshing. And I don't envy her one bit, because having to choose one over the other had to be a harder task than being what she is. No matter what she did, there was always one she would hurt. But I knew, as well as everyone else who read this series, that her heart was given to Will first. She loved him first. She loved him more. Though, she loved them both in different ways, she still loved Will first. And I can't blame her. Will is just too damn irresistible and amazing! Even when he's an ass, it's hard not to love him and want to jump his bones. Believe me, Tessa...I'd want to do more than that too. *fanning self* Anyway, I really enjoyed Tessa's character more in CP2. I admired her strength and bravery and the way she faced Mortmain and didn't back down or kick his ass or cower like a scared dog. Way to go Tess!
And now...now....we have Will. Oh my dear amazing Will. I love thee too much for words. So much I can't really type without my tears spilling out of my eyes because I'm such a weak sappy bitch. I truly loved Will in this entire series. From the moment he speaks in Clockwork Angel, until the very end of CP2. And even after that. I can still remember the tears and distress of that ending. I can still taste the salt on my lips and feel the knots in my stomach and the ache in my throat, and the gutted heart that was a bloody heap on the floor. Oh how I should stop it before I get carried away and wake my sleeping child. You should never wake a sleeping child. Oh, I'm sorry...I got off track. Let's get back on, shall we? Will Heronadale made me weak in the knees with his amazing voice and words and dark hair and gorgeous mysterious eyes. I hated saying goodbye to everyone in this series, but to say goodbye to Will was really difficult. He made me swoon like no other (besides his descendant, Jace) and he made me bawl like a bitch. His heartfelt confessions and love for Tessa was just heartmelting. And not only that, but his heart-to-heart with Jem. OMG.
Which leads me to my next point. The Parabatai. Dear God, this has been the best part of the whole series. I loved the scenes between Will and Jem since the beginning. Their connection, their friendship, their bond, their loyalty...it's beyond amazing. It's incredible. I can't even describe what it is. I felt their love for each other. It broke my heart, BROKE. MY. HEART when they had their last conversation. Holy shit, that last scene...can I cry any harder? Every scene between them is more sentimental, tear-jerking, poignant etc etc than any Will-Tessa scene or Jem-Tessa scene. I loved how Clare captured the Parabatai feeling, the connection. I really adore and love both boys so much, it was hard to see either one hurt. Jem suffered so much yet he was always sacrificial when it came to Will. He'd done anything for him, and vice versa. I can't feel that way about Jace and Alec. I didn't *feel* so strong a connection between them. I still love them and I guess TMI doesn't focus so much on the Parabatai like TID does. And I guess that's okay because it makes both series special that way. Maybe she purposely wrote it that way, for TID to focus more on the love of a Parabatai and TMI on the love between Jace and Clary. That's my guess. Either way, I should stop comparing the two because to me, Will and Jem will always be more special to me. Of course TMI comes close, or possibly just as close. I love both series so much, I can't freaking compare. And this is why I waited so long to read TID. I knew I'd be comparing them. Ahhhhh, Clare has done my head in with this unique and captivating companion series. But honestly, I just have to say, I wasn't this emotional while reading TMI. I hated certain aspects of it and got upset or sad and cried. But not full on snotty nose and hyperventilating type of cry. THIS. SERIES. WAS. EMOTIONAAAAAAAAL. Still, I love all things shadowhunter!
The conclusion. The end. Ummmm, I can't really discuss the end. I can say I loved the chapter before the epilogue. I loved seeing Will interact with Gabriel in a brotherly way, but more for Cecy's sake. It was so sweet. I was smiling like a fool, which was a relief from all the crying I'd just done. Oh but it didn't last long. Why? Why didn't I just stop at that chapter? Why did I HAVE to finish and torture my heart some more? Dear sweet Jesus, I probably cried more in that one small few pages, than I did in the whole book...and we all know how much I was crying throughout, before the end. So that was a lot. A lot of tears, a major headache and a punctured whole in my soul. We all know how it ended. So I don't need to keep kicking a dead horse in the mouth. (or whatever that saying is). I am however, looking forward to seeing how things develop in CoHF with you know who and so and so.
To wrap up this long monotonous review....I loved this series so much! I loved the world, the setting, the characters, the action, the suspense, the romance and Parabatai. Cassandra Clare really knows how to grip her readers and put everyone (characters and readers included) through the wringer over and over. I can't wait for the other series coming out in the future and I need to get on the Bane Chronicles. Love my sexy Warlock.